Cheating

Everything before marriage, I didn't consider cheating because I wasn't married. Although it was, because I was supposed to be in a committed relationship. That was just my way of justifying my wrong doings.

There was no way of justifying this. Instead I rationalized it. Shit, I didn't know what Eric was doing during his free time. After the cell phone incident, all the trust I had in him was gone.

So... I continued to hang out with Justin. We only had sex once or twice then the guilt took over and I decided to back off.

I say it's the guilt, but somehow within that time frame I started talking to Chase again. I don't remember if I called him or if he called me. I just knew we were back on. Our reconnection this time was the most intense encounter ever. It lasted, well technically it's still going strong. Kinda. I'll get to that soon. I have a few more details left to fill you in on.

My job sent me out of town for travel every three weeks. I traveled frequently between New York and Pennsylvania. Chase met me during every trip. I loved being out of town and having the ability to walk the streets freely with Chase. At home we both had way too much baggage. He was still with his daughter's mother and I had Eric. So he became my travel companion.

Once the cheating started I couldn't stop. If Chase couldn't met me out of town I always had someone to take his place.

Josh met me in Pennsylvania once. A guy from high school in New York (NOTHING HAPPENED ON THAT TRIP, I SWEAR). Mostly thought, it was Chase. Yep and I was so in love with him that I prayed it would last forever.

During this time Nash ran into one of my girlfriend's and asked her for my number. She gave it to him. He called me. We talked. Now here he is telling me how much he loved and missed me. Nash reminisced about what we could've had. About our baby if I would've kept it. About how much he regretted not fighting harder for what we had.

I was seeing Josh, Chase, Nash and of course Eric.