School Days

My freshman year of college was spent partying way more than learning. I don't know why I always find myself attracted to the unavailable "no good" types.

You know what I mean, bad boy playing the field types. Who are attracted to me for some reason that I'm still not clear on. I like to think it's my personality or intellect maybe some sort of combination of the two.

First there was Noah who drove a fast car and was a known hustler on campus. After hanging out with... or should I say fucking, Noah I found out that he had a girlfriend, this quickly became the story of my life.

I don't know why after finding out this information I don't run for the hills. Nope. Instead several months passed. I was a secret that everybody knew about, I'm sure even the girlfriend, who was as dumb as I.

Noah paraded me around campus introducing me to all of his friends. Two of his friends who were twins, befriended me. Taylor and Tyler. I use to go to the twins house with Noah. Then they started picking me up without him. We would go back to their house and play board games and cards til early in the morning.

One night I fell asleep in Tyler's bed. In the morning Noah walked through the door. I have to admit, it didn't look good. Even though nothing happened between me and Tyler, I never let Noah think differently, and for some reason I don't think Tyler did either. SO that day was the end of me and Noah. I guess he was the only one allowed to fuck around. Oh well. I didn't really like him that much anyway. Plus sex with him was way more painful than enjoyable.

NEXT

Who was next? Let's see. I met a nice guy from Newport News, VA. Troy, I think that was his name. After one trip home to meet my mother and a HORRIBLE romp in my old bed. That was the END of Troy.

During winter break I met Chris. Chris was a hustler and had more cars than I could count. Although I wasn't physically attracted to Chris. I was so attracted to his lifestyle. After knowing Chris for a few days he gave me a duffel bag of money to hold. Instructing me to keep it safe and take what I needed. I counted it and gave him back all $75000. That was the start to a crazy ride. Whatever I wanted Chris bought me. Chris lived 30 minutes away from me and my mother when I met him. He decided to rent a house five minutes away so that we could be closer. He would take me shopping every other day and let me drive any of his cars for extended periods of time. Chris would have footlocker bags of money in the trunk and I was responsible for counting and sorting it on the ride.

When I returned to school I decided to try out for the cheerleading squad. I made the team. Yay me. During tryouts I met a guy. Jason. Jason was from home. We used to sit in his car and talk for hours. Until one day his "girl" pulled up beside us and gave him an earful. According to Jason that wasn't his girl. I believed him. So it was me and Jason.

One day after practice Chris was at the gym looking for me. Come to find out Chris moved again. This time 10 miles off campus. So now Chris is starting to freak me out... To this day I'm still not quite sure what his attraction to me was. I never even kissed him. I don't even remember giving him as much as a hug. Bye Chris.

Okay so I'm into Jason. Until I met Nash. A 6'4 dark skinned basketball player who more than half the campus was so in love with. I'd never seen him. Only heard of him through my roommate - who had the biggest crush on him. One day while in the gym I saw him. It felt like an out of body experience. Something you see happen in the movies. Our eyes met and I was stuck in his gaze for what felt like hours. Later that evening I saw Nash in the cafeteria. After dinner we walked around campus and talked until the next morning.

Of course Nash had a girlfriend back at home. So I decided to keep seeing Jason and continue whatever this thing was I had with Nash. I openly dated both of them. And honestly didn't give a damn what anybody thought. Yes, I know what everybody was saying about me. Fuck them. I'm doing me.

Sex with Jason was okay. I'm still not sure what it was about him that I really liked. Other than the fact that he had a bitch. Hmm....

REVELATION #1

I'm attracted to guys who aren't available. What's up with that? Is it the chase?

Sex with Nash. Wow. We did it everywhere. Hotel rooms, the gym, the bleachers on the football field, his dorm room, the basketball house, outside. Nowhere was off limits. Jason. Who's Jason?

SO sex with Jason really wasn't okay. It was terrible. It was him on top of me pumping away. Sweat falling off of his face. Me dodging the sweat to avoid getting my hair wet. Now that I think about it. Eww.

Another break of some sort.

The years all seem to blend together.

I'm home feeling sick as a dog. I'm pregnant. Great. Who the fuck is the father?

I'm so childish and immature. I tell both Jason and Nash. Now they both think I may be carrying their child.

Abortion #1.

It was horrible. The hardest thing I've ever done. If it were up to me I swear I wouldn't have done it. All my mother could see were the mistakes she had made and the life I was throwing away. So she dragged me. No, I wasn't kicking and screaming, just confused. Afterward, I felt worse than I've ever felt before. Guilty and remorseful.

After the semester break school was back in session. Everyone returned to school. Where the fuck is Nash? Everyone except Nash returned to school. Well this decision is easy. Back to Jason and the sweaty sex.

Then one day I'm in the book store and the cutest guy walks up to me and talks to me in a way I've never experienced. He was respectful and sweet. His name was Danny. While still fucking Jason I let myself get to know Danny. He was nothing like anyone I'd ever known. One weekend I took him home with me and let him meet my mother. He won her over too. On the way back to school from that visit I was in a six car pile up that had traffic stopped for miles. While standing on the side of the road devastated, who rode by? You guessed it. A very disappointed Jason. Bye Jason.

When I went home that summer my mother threw me a big cook out for my birthday. She invited people I hadn't seen since high school. Including Justin. I hadn't seen or talked to Justin in over a year. Yet I was happy to see him. I was truly happy to see him. Justin told me he'd be right back with my birthday present. He came back to the house with Chase and my heart hit the floor. I was so confused. I had totally forgotten about Chase. Especially after the summer that I had spent with Justin. At first I didn't know what to think of Justin bringing Chase to my house. I thought it was some kind of joke or a game he was playing. The night was real chill, we laughed in the basement with the rest of the party guests and had a great time. After every one left Chase, Justin, my cousin Tasha and I went out. I don't remember where we went but I remember Tasha and Justin leaving me and Chase alone to "talk". He asked for my number. Still thinking the whole situation was a set up. I gave it to him anyway. I still thought he was the "flyest" dude on the planet.

The rest of that summer I spent it getting to know Chase. We spent hours on the phone. Talking about everything. He was just as easy to talk to as he was to look at. We went every where that summer. There wasn't a restaurant in town that we didn't eat at or a party we didn't go to. Together. It was like a high school dream come true.

Sex with Chase. Oooh. Sex with Chase was the best sex I'd ever had. The summer went by way to fast and I had to leave Chase and return to school.

That semester it was just me and Danny. The sex with Danny was boring but he was so nice and I knew he really loved me. I know that no other guy had ever loved me like Danny. I was his everything. Me and Danny got intense fast. I was either at his apartment playing house or he was at mine. Making dinner, baking cakes, laying up with him. Whatever. When we were out we were the cutest couple ever. According to those who felt the need to tell us we were the cutest couple ever.

At least two semesters had gone by and life was lovely. Danny and I had the same friends. Everything about my life intertwined with his life. I didn't even realize it at the time. I got a job with his best friend's girlfriend. The four of us did everything together. One day after work I decided to hang out with my old friends, the twins. Taylor and Tyler. We hung out at their parent's house until 8 AM the next day. Playing chess and card games.

When I returned to my apartment Danny was there and he wasn't at all happy. He punched holes in the walls. He threw things, he went ballistic. I had never seen him like that before. I felt so bad. I didn't realize how much he "loved" me. I promised never to make him feel that way again.

I learned that it didn't matter what I did. Even the smallest things made Danny act that way. After I returned home, he decided to come home with me. He rented an apartment around the corner from my mother's house. We were inseparable. Until Chase called.