First Comes Love

Even with his baby on the way, I allowed myself to fall deeper in love with Josh.

I was so in love with him I became stupid. I would and did do anything for this man. The way he made me feel when we were together nothing else mattered.

Nothing else mattered until the bitch called my mutha fuckin' phone.

Okay so some how she got my number and let me not call her a bitch, yet. She was a pregnant girl who I felt sorry for because I knew I was fucking the shit out of her baby's father.

She attempted to grill me on the phone about my relationship with Josh. I have never been a petty chick, so, for her benefit I downplayed it. No need to rub the shit in her face. Hell, I remember how fucked up it felt to be pregnant and feel unwanted.

As sorry as I felt for her and her situation I was still not ready to let Josh go.

So you know what happened next...

Yep, I kept seeing him.

She kept calling me, what she was saying was going in one ear and out the other until the bitch told me they were getting married.

I confronted Josh and he told me about the guilt trip she was laying on him. Damn that's the same shit I tried on Eric but it failed to work. Well it worked on Josh's dumb ass.

Or maybe they weren't the dumb ones.

Nope, it was definitely me. The big dummy.

He didn't even tell me when they finally did get married. I had to find out on my own. His dumb ass left a card in my bathroom that she had given him about their wedding day. It took everything in me not to go the fuck off.

I remained as cool as I could given the situation.

I was so confused.

On the one hand written in black and white was the fact they had gotten married. On the other hand was the fact that married or not a day didn't go by that Josh didn't lay down and wake up with me.

Okay so fuck it. I'm still with him. We are still loving each other like we needed each other to breathe.

The wife, ugh, wife, was calling me on the regular. If she couldn't find him she would call me. More often than not he was right there beside me.

For that I really do apologize. I am a woman first and I shouldn't have carried on with that woman's husband.

However, the phone calls and messages were beyond disrespectful. Don't take your shit up with me talk to your man, SERIOUSLY.

I guess I don't get it because I've never been the call a bitch on the phone type. I guess I never had a reason to be.

So now their baby is here.

And Josh is bringing the baby to my house fucking me with his son right there.

That's when it got uncomfortable. I got tired of the whole situation Bottom line regardless of how much I wanted him to be Josh was not my man.

So I started seeing Chase again. Chase would never do anything like that to me.

It was so hard letting go of Josh that I needed Chase to help me get over him. Chase did a remarkable job.

He kept both my mind and my pussy occupied.

Fuck Josh. No, fuck Chase. Yeah. Fuck Chase.